I was at spca selangor's adoption drive at bangsar shopping center today. it was pretty chill.. there wasn't a crowd.. the location we were given sucked and there was no traffic whatsoever. so i was basically just enjoying hanging out with the girls from the shelter. then i saw a familiar face, a nice girl, F, that had adopted a really really super troubled and feral kitty from me a couple of years ago - socks.
i think we all really worked hard on socks. took me ages to trap her and her siblings and daisy mama cat. yupyup my daisy mama cat was the feral mama cat at that time. i eventually managed to trap the whole family after rigging all sorts of traps, tying string and rope to pet carrier doors, hiding behind piles of leaves... it took weeks to get them all.
daisy mama cat is beautiful and so were her babies and i was sure i could rehome them all in spite of their wildness. socks was the first to be adopted. she was such a beautiful girl but the wildest of the bunch. she was so feral that i was afraid of her but in spite of that F wanted her and wanted to put in the effort to socialize her. well it took ages and even after all that time, socks continued to be a timid kitty but at least she had found her forever home and i could not ask for more. so you can imagine my shock at the adoption drive today when F told me that Socks is dead.
the neighbor's indonesian maid had literally stoned her. i don't mean stoned like they made her eat pot or blew the smoke in her face. i mean stoned as in rocks were thrown at her. why anyone would do such a thing is beyond me. i am very very disturbed by the thought of what her last moments were like. socks was a cat that always had a lot of fear.. fear of people mostly.. and really, she was right to be afraid. death by fucked up human. Socks knew it was coming.
i went home today and looked for daisy mama cat. i wanted to tell her that her daughter was dead.. i know she won't understand, i'm not retarded! But i had to tell her that i was sorry and i had failed with another innocent animal. every death feels like my fault somehow.
rest in peace socks free from fear and pain and people.