i couldn't handle taking care of all four of the little screamers at once. i'm a lightweight.. i was freaking out. every feeding session was so chaotic. my hands would shake as i handled each tiny fragile body and tried to get formula into them. they were all so fussy in the beginning, squirming constantly in my hands, turning their faces away from the syringe, rejecting the formula, and screaming bloody murder the whole time. i was overwhelmed and so scared that i was not giving each one enough care. as i struggled to feed one kitten, the other hungry three would be crying their hearts out. i only have two hands..
i asked my dear friend NT to help me take on two of them and luckily for me she said yes. NT works with the animal shelter. She loves animals and also has some experience with handrearing so last thursday night i handed over eenie and miney to her. i kept meanie and moe. i thought that we would have a better chance of success with two babies each because we then we could give each one more individual attention. i know that they can just fade away sometimes no matter how hard we try and even when we seem to be doing all the right things. its so disheartening and i always try not to get my hopes up but i do anyway and then i end up disappointed and totally bummed out.
i have some bad news. miney started fading yesterday morning and passed away in the afternoon. we don't know why. he was totally fine the night before. i don't understand how they go from being robust and noisy and energetic for days and then suddenly they go cold and limp and won't swallow their milk. once this happens they rapidly deteriorate and its over. why why why why???? despite all the feedings, making them go potty after every meal, keeping them warm with hot water bottles wrapped in towels, emergency glucose in case of hypoglycemia.. none of the kittens had or have diarrhea. we're very careful with preparing the formula. its not too rich or thick. all water used is pre-boiled. what's the problem? i think we kinda know what we're doing. we've done our research..
i have some more bad news. meanie, my little belter, the super strong noisy one that tortured me started fading away this morning. last night he was just peachy. today his tiny body feels cold and clammy. he is barely moving. his meows are soft and weak. i managed to get him to swallow some formula and water with glucose. it was an excruciatingly slow process today. one tiny mouthful at a time. i was hoping he would perk up but he hasn't. i don't know what else to do now. there's a fresh hot water bottle but meanie still feels cold. i have a horrible feeling that he will not get better and then moe will start to fade as well. my heart hurts. these little guys are so helpless. they haven't even opened their eyes yet.
rest in peace sweet baby miney, the grey tabby with the stump tail..
please please please hang in there meanie, my little noisemaker. go ahead, yell at me like you did yesterday!
please please please let eenie and moe continue to thrive with NT and i. we are trying so hard.
i still haven't taken any photos of them.. below are the photos taken by their rescuers on the day they were found.
Binx's Sunday Selfie
1 hour ago