and they all fall down..

horrible horrible week in my animal kingdom. my dog tony montana was terribly ill with tick fever. he had to have a blood transfusion, he was that sick. Dr L was not sure of his chances of survival. his dad and i were worried sick. good news is the transfusion helped lots and he has started eating a little and wagging his tail. please pray for his full and quick recovery. the last time i posted, miney had passed away and meanie was on his way out. well, meanie was gone the next day. eenie followed a few days later at his fosterer's home and moe passed away yesterday afternoon. that's the entire litter gone and for no reason that we can figure out. they just faded off one by one. strong one minute, weak the next, then gone. i don't have much to say except that we tried our hardest, did everything in our power to do. i don't know what else we could have done for them. i suppose we could've looked for a nursing mother cat but its not like nursing cats show up on my fucking doorstep during times of need. i just hope i am never asked to hand-rear kittens so fucking young ever again. if their eyes are not open yet, if there are little bits of umbilical cord attached, i am NOT going to be able to save them. they are going to die. fuck fuck fuck shit bloody hell goddammit crap and fuck. that's how i feel right now. i am angry, discouraged, disheartened, disappointed, and sad.

rest in peace eenie, meanie, miney, and moe. i hope you're having a great time together in cat heaven. eyes open, legs not wobbly, teeth grown, enjoying the smelliest, fishiest wet food ever. so sorry i failed all of you. i wish you could've seen the world. i was so looking forward to seeing your eyes and feeding you real food. you would've loved it.