Wednesday, September 1, 2010

And off we go to our new homes.. all of us..

Yesterday the 31st of August, was the Malaysian independence day. I'm not patriotic so it means nothing to me, plus i'm a chink and my fellow malaysian chinks know what that means over here... second class citizens. But anyway f*** that. I'm not going to get political today. For me, yesterday had a different meaning, it was the last and final day at the house. The end of one of the most important and life-changing chapters of my life. Now I find myself strangely alone. It's a weird feeling and I'm a little lost. The ex and I were together for 5 years and lived together for 3. This breakup has been like a divorce.. Division of pets, property, the whole 9 yards. I'm just happy that we have parted amicably and will always be part of each other's lives. Still, i think its pretty traumatizing for all and I haven't slept well in weeks. Now that the house is empty and none of us are there anymore, this breakup feels all too real. ugh i know i'm not really making sense. just rambling. anyway this is supposed to be about the animals not me.

Molly moved to Az's home on Monday evening. I was there with her for about 6 hours and we hung out with Az and his dogs Kopi and his puppy, now named Sunday. Molly was nervous but willing to explore so I was optimistic.. when she first moved in with me, she was completely paralyzed with fear so this was a big improvement. She even ate lamb and chicken that Az prepared for her. She played with Sunday and wasn't too growly. I hoped everything would be ok when I left her there. Well she started to get a little barky and agitated towards the end of the night. I guess she sensed something was wrong and wanted to go home. We had her confined to a back area but when she saw me leaving she managed to get through and made a mad dash for the door. She was so panicked she pooped a little. My poor baby. Az told me that the next morning, she became very aggressive. We are working on that now.

I hope I never have to foster a dog ever again. It's too painful. I know we are supposed to maintain an emotional distance from our foster animals, but i just can't. People are always telling me not to get too attached. How can I not get attached? The only way to rehabilitate these animals, especially the abused ones, is to shower them with as much unconditional love as possible. If I could hold anything back, any love, then I wouldn't be fostering anyway. Know what I mean? I foster because I love. So yeah it hurts, it always hurts and now the thought of Molly being unhappy is killing me. There is a tightness in my chest that hasn't gone away since she left me. I am so worried and I miss her so much. I am always fighting back tears.

Tony and Spike moved to my ex's home last night. That was heartbreaking for me as well. I miss them already. Spike was so confused and whined a lot when he was left there. Tony was fine though, he lived there for a whole year before and seemed to remember it. I know they will be fine there. That house has like the biggest freaking yard ever. It's HUGE. They will have so much space and hopefully Tony won't always get cranky and attack Spike. Surely that giant yard is big enough for the both of them? Fingers crossed. I'll go over this weekend to bathe and walk them.

All the cats are fine in my new apartment except for Daisy Mama Cat. She really hates being indoors. She has been hiding behind the potted plants on the balcony since yesterday.

Silas the kitten was adopted this afternoon by a nice girl that has a 1 year old male orange tabby kitty.


Blackie007 said... heart goes out to you and Molly. I know how you feel, and the thought that Molly isn't too happy there must be killing you. Just know that you're not alone, and that we're with you 'virtually'. *sending positive thoughts and vibes to you & Molly*

Naomi said...

Lynnie I hope you're ok. But try not to worry too much on you dogs, they'll be fine. It all takes time. Love you hun! xx

Au and Target said...

Oh poor you; it sounds hell. And for the furrfriends too.

~Covert_Operations'78~ said...

Being a fosterer hurts so much. When my first foster girl, Felicity, got adopted, I went into the vet's room and cried my stupid eyes out. I have a prayer for all my fosters. I tell them: "I pray you will have a long, happy and healthy life. I will never forget you, but I pray you forget me, and forget me soon, so you can learn to love your new parents." I pray to Mother Gaia for your happiness and Molly's, Lyn.

meowmeowmans said...

Fostering can be so painful, but know that your unconditional and full love for the animals you foster is exactly what makes you amazing! Please know that we are thinking of you and all of your babies (especially Molly, Spike and Daisy Mama Cat) at this very difficult time.

Life With Dogs said...

I'm not sure I could ever foster for the same reason. I'd end up a hoarder...