Oh happy day! Mr. Orange finally took a crap!

When you enter the world of animal rescue and fostering all sorts of new things start to make you happy. You find joy and satisfaction in the strangest places. Small things that never mattered before take on new meaning. I now find joy in expelled roundworms, perfect turds, and soiled litter boxes. Some of you might wonder why.

Expelled roundworms? Better out than in I say. These nasty parasites can really sicken already weak young animals. Particularly major infestations can even kill. When I see a bloated tummy on a skinny malnourished puppy or kitten nothing gives me more satisfaction than deworming the little dude and then waiting for the fruits of my labor :) I usually find the dead, expelled, worms in three ways. If you are squeamish don't read on, the following will be disgusting.
1. Expelled when the little animal takes a crap, the worms are wrapped around turds in the litter box.
2. A pile of wet rubberbands I almost step on turns out to be dead roundworms.
3. Little animal runs around with strange stringy object dangling out of its butt. Did baby eat thread? No! Dead roundworms are on their way out but have gotten stuck halfway. No biggie! Just grab a tissue and yank away!

Perfect turds make me happy? Why yes! They certainly do. Turds are a big indicator of a critter's overall wellbeing. Newly rescued pups and kittens often have diarrhea. You know they're on the road to health and happiness once their runny puddly poops become well-formed firm solid pieces of crap. Victory is mine!

Finally, my favorite. Soiled kittens litter boxes. Yes, soiled. Used. Crapped and peed in. No I do not have some weird shit fetish. It's sooooo awesome when kittens start using the litter boxes. Especially if they're kittens that you've raised since they were newborn, so young, helpless and immobile that their muscles weren't even strong enough for them to be able to poo and pee on their own at all and you've spent weeks rubbing their bottoms with moistened cotton after every feeding to help them 'go'. When they start clambering on wobbly clumsy legs into a tiny baby-sized litter box on their own and leaving deposits on their own... its like WOW!!! A whole new stage in their development, from babies they become kittens. I swear the little deposits in the box those first few times are like a smelly but welcome and much-appreciated gift. Gone are their days of having accidents and messing themselves. So much less clean-up.

Why am I suddenly going on about this? This morning I woke up to find a perfectly formed, firm poop in Mr. Orange's mini litter box. I'm so proud of him. At just over 3 weeks of age, this toddler kitten knows where to do his business. I'm also very relieved because before today he had not pooped at all for like 4 or 5 days. So... YAY!!! He's not sick! Not backed up! Not going to have accidents all over my apartment! Another milestone.... :)

I'm going to wrap up this post with a text message I received from my dear friend and fellow animal rescuer NT who is currently fostering 5 baby kittens:
"Oh! They've finally learnt how to use the tiny litter box to pee! I want to shed tears of joy!"

That says it all!

Gross worms came out of Sparks' butt

I'm used to seeing roundworms come out of foster kittens' butts after they've been dewormed. i'm even used to lending a helping hand (with tissue of course) and pulling the worms out when they get stuck halfway and just dangle out. yes, fostering has given me quite a strong stomach and things like this don't usually phase me, but today, i literally came face to face with a worm I have never seen before. *shudder*

I was lounging around in bed with Fatfat and Sparks. They were both asleep, curled up around each other in their usual affectionate way. I leaned over to pet them and what did I see? A few white boogery-looking creatures squirming away in the fur around his butt and his tail. I picked them up off him with q-tips and put them on a piece of paper where they continued to squirm grossly. After I had them all I murdered them. When I checked under his tail, I saw the darn things wriggling out of his butt again!! oh horror of horrors!!! In all my years of fostering and pet ownership I have never ever seen such a thing and it had to happen in my bed!! I'll have to burn those sheets.

When I got over being disgusted I did some research. Turns out Sparks has tapeworm, also commonly known as rice worm because the worms look like grains of rice when they have died and dried up. They die soon after being expelled (thank god!!). There are two ways a cat can get tapeworm, by eating raw meat or fish, and by ingesting a flea that contains a tapeworm within its body. The flea would've been ingested during a normal self-grooming session. So, a cat with tapeworm will very likely have fleas as well. I am going to be deworming and defleaing everyone like crazyyyyyy tonight.

I would've taken some photos of Sparks' tapeworms to show you guys.. but I was too busy being disgusted.

monday blues

big sighhhhh... its been a little difficult here financially as i continue to try muddling on with all the furkids and fosters.. veterinary bills certainly don't get any more reasonable as time goes on. i wish i could vaccinate and deworm and neuter everyone by myself. i'm also kinda waiting for this new job that i started about 3 months ago to turn out to be everything i thought it would be.. so far it isn't really matching up to what i was promised..that's very frustrating of course because i had hoped that it would help make life a little easier financially but so far is hasn't. in fact it might even be worse. i'm busier, crankier, have to spend more night's out networking, and last saturday night i went to a work related networking event and some nasty disgusting old sleazebag hit on me and groped my ass. Old fuck must've been at least 30 years older than me. he'd totally need a back brace and hip replacement surgery before he could get it on with anyone. *shudder* i thought people would get wiser and classier with age.. i guess its just not that way with everyone.

i don't think i can afford to get santo and tutti frutti vaccinated before this weekend's adoption drives. that means they won't be able to take part. anyways.. something giving me a warm fuzzy feeling right now is luckytoes midnight sitting on my lap. she's not the most affectionate kitty in the world, preferring the company of the other cats, especially fatfat, to the company of humans but for whatever reason she decided to show me some love today. i'm sitting on the couch now in front of the tv and luckytoes is snuggling up against me with her head on my lap. she actually jumped up on the couch on her own, and just came to me and plonked herself down. normally she is nowhere near this area of the house, she likes it upstairs where the dogs aren't allowed to go. maybe the little weirdo does love me after all.. whatever her reason, this is a nice quiet moment we're sharing. i wonder if this will be the only time we will be as cozy as this or if this is the first of many..

losing my sanity

yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster for me.. in the morning, gia passed away.. and that night, madeleine was adopted!! so last night i was a blubbering sack of tears and mood swings.. didn't help that i'm like pmsing as well. so this was me last night:

"YAY!! Maddie's got a family!!"
"Sob, sniffle.. But little Gia is dead.." *CURL UP INTO FETAL POSITION IN BED AND SOB*
"I miss Maddie so much already!" *CRY*
"Oh poor Molly will think Maddie abandoned her.. Molly will be lonely!" *MORE TEARS*
"The house is so empty without Maddie.. I miss her cutesy face.." *AND YET MORE TEARS*
"Yay!! The people that adopted Maddie are so nice!!" *SMILE*
"How can i celebrate for Maddie, when Gia is dead..." *CRY AGAIN*

i'm exhausted today. i have no emotions left. i think that's good. i need a little break from all that.

ok, who cut cheese? me or that furry creature over there?

My family is very comfortable with the subject of farting and taking shits. Our dinner table conversations always start off well with debates about politics, religion, animal welfare, even philosophy!! We like to think that we're a well-read and enlightened bunch. Once we're done feeling how super and awesomely correct we are or after one of us gets a full tummy, things begin to deteriorate rapidly. We'll start talking about stomach problems, gas, poop and everything associated with poop, and, this is creepy, ways to get away with murdering people we hate. how to murder animal haters basically.. Then because we all have really high metabolisms, its guaranteed that one of us will have to take a crap IMMEDIATELY after dinner. Then there's no "excuse me, i've got to use the little girls room".. its always "oh i need to take a dump" or "omg i need to shit so bad i think i'm turtling.." and the very politically incorrect "i've got to drop some bombs over hiroshima".. i can go on all day..

after the deed is done, there is always a report on what a huge relief it was.. sometimes followed by a description of its other qualities. we're very classy people. LOL. good thing i don't have my name on this blog, coz my mum would just kill me if she read this post. oh i must point out, that if we have company, we do try not to go overboard talking too much about our bowel movements.. an occasional reminder is appreciated though. many a dinner guest has found us very odd indeed.

anyway, i've been reading Life With Dogs super hilarious posts about dog farts and they got me thinking.. what's the fart etiquette like with me and my fur family? Do we all have the same open "everybody shits so why be bothered by it" attitude? megan fox shits.. robert pattinson shits.. hell, everyone i think is hot shits and farts. its nothing to be ashamed of. so i've always assumed that my darling dogs, tony, spike, and practically permanent foster dog molly, felt the same way...

oh boy have i been wrong about that. they are not ok with it at all. i just realized that there is an elaborate fart-hiding plot afoot at my home and all the deceitful little monsters are in on it. worse still, i am the unsuspecting dumbass scapegoat in their nasty little conspiracy.

i don't get to blame farts on my dogs... they blame farts on ME. no they don't do it verbally of course.. they're a lot sneakier than that. their betrayal and blame is much more subtle.. its all in the direction of their cold, wet noses.. below, a couple of examples of how they blame all farts on me:

INCIDENT #1 - Perp: Spike, Spootie, Spootata, Spotato, or should i say Mr Sneaky Fart-Pants?
It was a quiet, cool night and we were sitting together on the bench in the yard. Just the two of us contentedly enjoying each others presence.. It was a rare moment without all the other pets around. I felt such inner peace. Little did i know that my beloved pooch was about to betray me. As we looked out into the darkness i suddenly heard a soft, drawn-out cushioned hiss. A foul stench as if someone had eaten cheese, pickles, boiled cabbage, rotten eggs, onions, AND the remains of a decomposing skunk blasted all breathable air out of the atmosphere. I looked at Spike, horrified yet strangely impressed that such a short dog could produce such a potent biological weapon out of his ass. he looked at me accusingly. I said "what are you looking at? that didn't come from my butt" but his facial expression (fake! he's a bad actor) as he sniffed me clearly said "DAMN GIRL! LAY OFF THE FRIJOLES!"
You see? He tried to frame me!! Why else would he sniff me after HE farted? After sniffing me, he turned and sniffed his own butt for authenticity (he's quite flexible.. long body!) then he sniffed me again.. as if to show any onlookers that he had been kind enough to check himself but had again come to the conclusion that i was the source of the fart.

INCIDENT #2 to infinity - Perp: Molly Sue, Little Miss Gassy-not-Classy.
Here's a little something that happens almost every night as we sit on the couch together watching tv. A toxic breeze will flow through the room.. It will carry hints of meat decomposition, really old cheese, cauliflower, and curry. Is it me or is it molly? truth be told, it could be either of us, though usually her.. we would've both already had dinner.. the thing is, no matter who farted, molly will ALWAYS sniff my butt first. what the hell? can't she feel the farts come out of her ass? and when it IS her, why on earth is she sniffing me??? the fart smell always attracts Maddie who is usually lying down on the floor at the couch.. she'll get up and then guess what she does? she'll sniff MY butt too!!

Molly and Spike discuss how to embarrass me.

oh wow this is a really long post and its just about fart. told you i can really go on about it..

so far tony montana has NEVER betrayed me this way. he is truly a loyal little pooch. he territorially pisses on everything, but at least he doesn't try to blame me for that.
"Keep bringing on the giant meat treats and i'll always be on your side."

as for the cats.. only one of them has ever had gas and of course its fatfat. not his fault though. we went to college together after all.. we ate all kinds of junk. i hardly ate anything with any nutritional value. same goes for fatfat.. the poor thing spent his kittenhood eating really cheapo cat kibble, cheese, scrambled eggs, ice cream, campbell soup, and if he was lucky, tuna spread. so yes, he had gas. he farted a lot. really bad farts.. the type that linger.. i think i must've had the same type of farts since we had the same diet. we reveled in our grossness together. no fingers or paws were ever pointed at one another. i miss college with my kitty. he doesn't fart anymore.

*BURP* oh excuse meeeee
dammit, does this outfit make me look fat?
ughhh i feel bloated...

smooth as a baby's bottom!! NOT!!

i wonder if i will ever be bruise and scar free..
GRRR.. not if i continue to get bitten by fleas, head-butted, paw-punched, scratched, pounced on, and used as a big human-sized chew toy.
thanks a lot guys!! mummy is broke, tired, always covered in fur, AND covered in hideous blemishes.
HMPF!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Glares at monitor*
Oh if looks could kill...

i love getting presents but its ok daisy mama, you can stop now..

daisy mama cat is my semi feral stray kitty. she adopted me when i moved into the neighborhood but i've never been able to fully domesticate her. she's a free spirit and will not be confined to living indoors. i've tried many times to get her to stay inside my home but she totally freaks out once she's surrounded by walls. her paw prints literally cover parts of my walls from times when she panicked and tried to claw her way out the windows. so its outdoor living for this flower child.

when i first found her in the neighborhood, i had actually intended to rehome her. but after realizing that she would never be happy as someone's indoor pet, i gave that up. at least with me, she's familiar with the area and its a small, quiet, low-traffic suburb. what if she was adopted but then ran away in an unfamiliar area and got lost? i'd never forgive myself.

daisy mama seems cold and snobbish to everyone. she completely ignores people she's not familiar with. sometimes when i pass her in the street while walking my dogs, she even ignores me when i call out to her. at first i thought "mannn... what a little biatch.. she totally doesn't care about me". but then she started bringing me little tokens of her appreciation. its all quite sweet in a macabre, feline way really.. the first time i found a dead eyeless little shrew next to my car i didn't realize it was a gift for me. but then it happened again, and again, always at my car at the spot where daisy mama waits for her meals.

then one evening, she jumped into the house through the window, purring loudly from deep within her throat. she had something dark in her mouth. she dropped it at my feet and meowed insistently. i looked down to see the mangled, chewed up carcass of a little sparrow. daisy was obviously very pleased with herself so of course i didn't wanna insult her. i was beyond grossed out and horrified but picked up the poor little bird and cooed, "oh my gosh! for me?! thank you so much daisy mama! you shouldn't have!! no, really you shouldn't trouble yourself." she was pleased as punch and rubbed her head affectionately on my legs before giving me a playful nip and jumping out the window.

in the last two weeks she has brought me a variety of rodents and left them at my car. some were fresh kills, still intact, no visible wounds in sight. they looked like they were sleeping. others were starting to reek and decompose. the worst ones were the bloody ones. one last week has its head almost completely severed. it was connected by just a little sliver of skin. the day before yesterday she brought a perfectly intact and cute little mouse. no puncture wounds at all. pristine. then yesterday there was another mouse but this one had been divided into two large pieces literally.. ughhh... blood and guts.. and it smelled soooo bad.

its not very easy to dispose of all the victims of this carnage. i can't bury them in the yard coz i don't want the dogs to dig them up. i can't just throw them in the bin and expect the garbage man to take them away.. they stink!! so i've been reduced to dropping them in the sewer or driving out to the big main garbage dump and tossing them on the mountain of garbage after wrapping them in layers of plastic bags.

daisy mama is very giving.. she might not want to stay home and cuddle up with me but she shows her love through her gory gifts. i appreciate them all.. but really.. i get it now. she loves me. ok. i love her too. she can stop giving me presents now.. please?

Weaning kittens, one of life's hilarities..

Snowy's kittens Luna and Rajah are growing up so fast. Just two weeks ago they were wobbly, half-blind, squirmy little things that couldn't stand up straight. When placed on the floor, they looked like confused creatures paddling away in non-existent water. Now their legs are strong and straight. They can run, play and tumble. They've started climbing and exploring and their eyes are bright and clear. Rajah's eyes are turning bright blue. Could he be any more gorgeous?! Luna's eyes are still dark grey and i can't wait to see what their permanent color will be. They scamper around my feet and follow me as i work my way around the upstairs hall, cleaning all the litter boxes. I took some photos of them last night but forgot to bring my camera with me to the office today.. darn it.. those will have to wait till tomorrow.

I checked inside Luna and Rajah's mouths last night and saw teeny tiny nubbins of teeth starting to grow. That pretty much shows that they're ready to start eating soft kitten food and will be nursing less. The first time kittens are presented with 'real' food is really funny. Some kittens take to it immediately.. Just a few sniffs of the fishy stuff and they start licking the food. Some are interested but confused.. They smell something they want but don't know where it is even when its RIGHT in front of their faces. They mew in frustration looking for the source of the delicious scent even walking in their bowls and through the food but it still eludes them. Others lick the edges of their tiny bowls but don't go that extra millimeter in to taste the food.

The first few times i give them smelly soft food will be very messy. That's normal. They'll play in the food, get it all over their faces, some are so confused that they try to suck up the pasty stuff instead of opening their mouths and taking bites. Last night, Luna and Rajah did everything I expected them to do. They made a huge mess. They tracked through the food then shook their paws in disgust at the wet, clammy feeling.

When i woke up this morning most of the wet food remained uneaten and of course had attracted ants. Since the food was beginning to smell kinda gross, i decided to flush it down the toilet instead of throwing it away in the trash can. Also, I was sure the other cats would end up rummaging through the trash can looking for the leftovers. So, as i was scraping the stinky fishy stuff into the toilet, my brood of fat felines gathered around me, looking at me in horror, obviously shocked and deeply saddened by the waste. Foster kitty Luckytoes Midnight couldn't help herself. She had to put a stop to the madness. She immediately launched herself into the toilet and landed in the gross fishy toilet bowl water. SIGHHHHHHHH......... oh monday mornings! how you continue to amaze me. as if i wasn't already in a hurry to leave the house and get to work on time..

A new year, still too many animals..

It's the last day of 2009 and i have to say that this year has been really really shite for me in almost every way.. i'm incredibly broke, i seem to have gotten squishier around my waist, my car has gotten even more ghetto than it was before, and my animal family has grown.. don't get me wrong!! i love my pets!! but i wish i had more successful adoptions so i don't end up keeping so many of my foster critters permanently.

As of today I've had 50 successful adoptions. I'm really grateful for that and i miss every one of them furkids. But i hope i never have to see them again!! LOL! Get what i mean? I want them with their adopters forever! don't screw up kiddies!

Of course, with all the happy endings, there have been some heartbreaks as well. Rest in peace, Kirby, Crusty, Little Moo, Charlie, Holly, and Ruffles. I'm so sorry I didn't do better for you. There will always be someone here that cares and remembers how you lived, suffered, and died. I'll work harder in 2010 i promise.

I always have fur on my clothes

yippee my first post! i don't know why i never thought of doing this before.. i need an outlet for all my animal rescue and foster experiences and i think most of the people i know are pretty tired of listening to my stories.. i'm actually immune to their blank expressions now and when their eyes glaze over i keep right on talking.. i could quite possibly be turning into a crazy cat lady. i always thought cat ladies were lonely old spinsters but at 27, i'm well on my way there.

so, why do i rescue and foster? because its freaking awesome to do something for someone other than yourself! human or otherwise. it warms my heart and my soul. plus i would never be able to live with myself if i knew i had the chance to help a poor little furball, and didn't.

i don't expect to have tons of followers. i'm not going to blow your mind with life-changing revelations and gut-busting humor. i just need to get this out of me somehow.. and i have a lot to say. so follow, me, my pets, and my foster furkids, as we try to juggle a full-time job, social life, housekeeping, pee, poop, hairballs, vomit, vet bills, pet store bills, and the constant de-furring of my clothes. i swear one time i got to work, sat myself down in my chair and realized there was a cat/dog hair IN my mouth. yeah i lead a charmed life.